“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” Author Unknown
I don’t know if there is anything more important than the way we think about a thing, the way we think about anything. Right or wrong, our perception is our reality. If we think something is giant and unsolvable, it can be overwhelming. If we think the same issue is something we can work through, we can do it. If we can change our perspective about something, anything, we can change how we view it, think about it or work through it.
It can be easier to agree with this premise than to practice it. It’s especially hard to change our viewpoint when we are in the situation, our judgment can become clouded. Our pride might get involved, we are convinced we are right and we can miss something we might otherwise see.
How can we possibly get a clearer perspective on anything? I think it starts with humility. Unfortunately. To be open to another perspective, we first have to be open to the possibility that we might be wrong about the way we are thinking about it right now. It starts there. Our estimation of a situation could be wrong. Our emotions may cloud our judgment or our broken, narrow, thought processes may lead us astray. If we want as much clarity as possible, we have to be open to the possibility that our initial, or previously held, assumptions and beliefs, might be wrong. That can be difficult.
“But that’s the way I feel. I can’t help the way I feel.” Beware when those words come out of our mouth. We are in the Danger Zone! (Cue the Danger Zone music.) We should be wary people who consistently speaks in absolutes and do not allow for the possibility that they might be wrong. Especially when that person is looking back at us in the mirror. They are the most dangerous.
The quote, “We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are,” is attributed to a couple modern authors but Google tells me the idea appears in 1st century Hebrew texts and is probably older. It recognizes that we are generally unlikely to analyze a situation without filtering it through our own broken experience. The Apostle Paul wrote the Epistle of Titus around 60 AD and said, “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled.” Titus 1:15. Notice, “…both their minds and consciences are defiled.” No matter our experiences, we see the world as we are, not as it is.
I am not advocating for a mush-mind, tumbleweed mentality of being blown to and fro by the winds of indecision. I am all for decisive action. Also, there are some critical life decisions and principles that, once we commit to them we are fully committed, and we should be. I am, however, encouraging that we consistently step back and assess things with as much of an open mind as we can muster. Detach, analyze, re-engage. Maybe we are absolutely on the correct track. Great. Charge forward. Then, later, detach, analyze, re-engage.
We might consider this approach for all things, all situations. How we approach adulting, parenting, our jobs, relationships, marriage, a golf swing, problem solving, everything. We will never be able to get better at anything without first accepting the possibility there might be a better way to do it.
I was 9 years old when I first ran away from home. I do not recall what exactly launched me out that day but I know there were a few motivating factors. I was terrified of my angry father for one. He called me “You little shit” so often I thought it was my name. Even though he coached my little league team and allowed me to go to the bar with him after his touch football games, he often spoke with a venom that I cringe today as I recall it. Also, I was sexually abused by a young adult stranger who caught me and a friend exploring an empty home in our neighborhood. On top of that, my Uncle Steven was fond of little boys and also sexually abused me a couple of times. As I learned later, this was common with him and other adults in the extended family.
Whatever the reason, in the summer of 1974 I took off on my steel wheeled skateboard to start my new life as a 9 year old hobo. Our home on Cherry Lane in Bozarah, Connecticut was about 5 miles to the town of Norwich where I would launch myself into the world that had to be better than what I was leaving. My determination evaporated after a couple hours and I managed to use a payphone and call my parents. I’m not sure they knew I was missing.
It was only 2 years later that I discovered the sweetness of Southern Comfort, weed and petty crime. When I was 11 we moved to the Rogers Lake area where I rounded most of the bases with Heidi and I found an equal passion for shoplifting, egging houses and destroying mailboxes. My grandmother once showed me a newspaper article about Roger’s Lake vandals and her wise eyes told me that she knew it was me. I also learned that “big kids” will beat you up for no reason and that wearing plaid Sears Toughskins jeans was a good reason to be ridiculed.
Without the perspective I am burdened with today, I was thinking I had a fine childhood. Summers in the lake, girls, sports, being Evil Kienevil on our bikes, drunken vomiting in the snow, a little weed now and then, lots of adventure and the lack of parental supervision that came with being a latch-key kid in the 70’s. Apart from the verbal berating, visits from the police and a few instances of sexual abuse, I look back on it with fondness. Also, it seemed like my friends had the same experiences, so, it was kind of normal.
The summer before 8th grade, in 1978, we moved to Nashville, TN. My Dad wanted to break into the Country Music business as a songwriter. He didn’t. What did happen was that I learned that being poor and unkempt also attracted bullies and the kids I found acceptance with were in the same boat as me. I began a serious love affair with marijuana. Not coincidentally I suspect, I often wore a black, flat brimmed Zorro hat, with sunglasses, and carried a souvenir bullwhip around our apartment complex while wearing cowboy boots with cut off jeans. Like a 5 year old. I was 13. Some days I would wear a complete baseball uniform out and about despite not being on a baseball team. This is the type of thing that bullies live for. Too bad I wasn’t better with that whip. Apparently, an elderly gay man liked this look as well because he tried to molest me in his apartment but I had seen that movie before and was able to get away.
A year later we moved outside of Nashville to Bellevue,TN. We lived in an apartment complex where I began to fully explore what being a wayward teen could really mean. I smoked weed like a young Rastafarian. Stealing my Dad’s weed was a point of contention with him but I was pretty comfortable with it. I was also introduced to Quaaludes, Valium, LSD, Crank (meth), huffing spray paint, stealing cars and breaking & entering.
“Breaking In”, as we called it, was a hobby. There were a couple kids who showed me how to get through locked front doors, sliding glass doors and windows and I became proficient. I broke into a cop’s apartment and stole several guns that I traded for weed and acid. He later tracked me down but, mercifully, didn’t arrest me. Another time I stole liquor and a .38 revolver which I eventually traded for weed. I stole coin collections, food, candy from cupboards, money, weed, liquor and prescription drugs. I skipped school for weeks at a time. I stole, or helped steal, at least 4 cars, wrecked one and damaged another.
I was often in trouble and my Dad handled it by whipping my ass like a grown man. That didn’t cure me. I ran away from home a second time after stealing all the payday money from my Mom’s wallet and took a bus to CT. Upon arrival, I hitchhiked for 15 miles to Rogers Lake, slept through the early morning on the snowy ground and showed up barely alive at Heidi’s house. My grandmother came and got me and I stayed with her for a week before I was sent home to face the music. Another time I ran off, I attempted to steal the family car, wrecked it trying to leave the parking lot and rode a bus around Nashville most of the night. Clearly I didn’t have a plan beyond immediate escape. My parents brought me to therapy a couple times but gave up on it quickly. All of this was in my 9th and 10th grade years.
My antics continued in my 11th and 12th grade years although we moved to different apartments and much of my outright criminal activity ceased. Weed, acid, pills and mushrooms were all part of my life though. A close friend refused to sell me acid any more because I was doing so much. I would often go to school to score drugs and then leave. I had multiple bad trips on acid and mushrooms. Trouble and I were still well acquainted but without the breaking and entering and grand theft auto.
I lost my virginity in the summer before 9th grade and, as teenagers do, became absolutely and wildly consumed with the pursuit of girls. It was 1978-1982 and it seemed like all my friends were sleeping around. I do not know how I didn’t impregnate anyone in high school but I thank God, for all involved, that I didn’t.
By a miracle of God I graduated Hillwood High School in 1982 and a year later, joined the Navy. I knew my future didn’t look incredibly bright so I thought I’d learn a trade and travel the world. In February 1984 I left for boot camp and it probably saved my life. The military was great for me and I’ve written about it here.
The experiences of my childhood produced a screwed up kid who turned into a wayward adult. I’ve battled my demons, had great victories and suffered abysmal defeats that have harmed people I love. I wanted to be the one that broke the family curse of anger, violence, substance abuse and more. I have failed in major ways but I’m grateful that my kids’ childhood wasn’t anything like mine. I’m also grateful that God’s mercies are new every day and I’ve been able to get up when I’ve fallen.
Regardless of the baggage I carried from my childhood I know that, as a man, there was a point that I became 100% responsible for my own actions. There are simply no excuses, we are responsible & accountable. I don’t have a victim mentality and my failures are my own.
I am incredibly grateful for my parents. Things were not ideal back in the day but they were doing the best they had with the cards they were dealt. Later on, my Mom ended up being very loving and supportive and my Dad was the same. As he became “Grandaddy” he was idolized by many, including me. He has since passed away but he finished strong and I’m forever grateful for his love, support and the lessons he left with me.
As for me, I have gone from a worshiped father to alienated and now rebuilding. In my next post I’ll talk about success, failure, forgiveness and, maybe more than anything else, developing a new mindset. I hope some of the lessons will resonate with a few people.
My Dad was known for what seemed like wild exaggerations. Not really tall tales but things like, “This is the best day of my life.” “That’s the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.” I still admire him for his ability to have lived in the moment and appreciate the world around him. He didn’t just live in the moment, he was blown away by the moment. When he spoke words like that, he always meant it.
All we have is this moment. The past is gone and the next minute is not guaranteed. We spend so much time worrying about the next thing and fretting about what has happened (or might happen) that we miss the beauty of what God intended; what is in front of us, right now.
God’s perfect plan for us isn’t filled with worry or being pre-occupied. He have us plenty of direction, Phil 4:6, Is 35:4, Is 40:31, Is 41:10, Lk 12:22, Mt 6:26, Ps 34:17 and many more. Anxiety and distraction keep us from appreciating the moments that make up our lives. How ironic is it that we’re so often worrying about the next moment that it keeps us from appreciating the moment we are in? It’s like the dog with a bone in its mouth, who, seeing his own reflection in the water, drops the bone he has trying to get the one in his reflection.
Our very lives are made up of a collection of individual moments. What are we doing with them? Every second, or couple of seconds has value. There are 86,460 seconds in a day. Out of all of those, was there a moment today, or yesterday, that filled you with wonder, joy, gratitude? What are the meaningful moments in the last week that quickly come to mind? We are surrounded by wonder and beauty. Can you recall any of these moments?
Clearly we can’t go through the day like lunatics, blown away by every single moment that comes down the pike. Having said that, what if we made it a habit to try to recognize, engage and appreciate what’s happening around us? Maybe it’s a person or a sunset or even a moment with our pet.
Recognize. Here’s an idea, let’s regularly ask God to help us recognize life’s moments. To give us “…eyes to see and ears to hear…” opportunities to engage, love and appreciate what’s right in front of us. Maybe put a sticky note on your mirror or desk. Set an alarm on your phone 3 times a day that reminds you to be on the lookout. Develop a habit.
Engage. Maybe if we’re watching TV and our child is playing on the floor we can get down and engage. If your teenager is on her phone, rather than letting her be, ask a few questions about her day, what does she have coming up that she is excited about? If you can’t engage her successfully, text her a Dad joke, even if she’s in the same room. Engage your spouse in a way she’s not used to, “I like you in those leggings.” “I thought you did a great job with that thing today.” “Meet me in the kitchen in 5 minutes. I want to show you something.”
Something I’m guilty of is not giving someone who has walked into my office my full attention. I could do a better job of inquiring about them personally. This opportunity (person) has literally presented itself to me, they have come to me. It could be any encounter though, instead of a passing, “How you doing?”, maybe stopping and engaging for 1 minute.
Appreciate. Taking a moment to look at, and really see, the fall leaves, a sunset, your spouse, art…whatever. Make a point to focus on details and remember them. Maybe take a picture. Share the moment with someone else, “The sunset is beautiful! You should check it out.” “You should see the orange in the sky right now.” “Mike, at work, showed me a picture of his new grandson. Check out this picture.”
Then, take a second now and then to thank God for these moments. If we can start to develop a habit of recognizing, engaging and appreciating life’s moments it will add to the quality of our lives. Anything I can do to add to the quality and richness of my life is worth a moment. Are you with me?
“Well I’d love to get to sleep but I can’t get too deep Though I am doing the best that I can. My mind likes to talk about everything I am not And even worse, everything I am.” The Night, Morgan Wade
Failure is a part of life, but what about the disastrous one that we bring on ourselves? The one brought on by our lack of discipline, moral fortitude or courage. How do we come back from that? What about people we’ve hurt?
From Moses to King David to Tiger Woods we see people who have had life altering failures and somehow came back. No doubt, accompanied by the voice in their head telling them they couldn’t do it and didn’t deserve to thrive again.
Maybe you’ve had personal failures, public or private. I’ve had both. I’ve hurt people I love and, while there might be reconciliation down the road, it doesn’t seem so at the moment. The consequences are dire. Often, there’s a struggle between, “I need to get up and move forward” and, “I don’t deserve to move forward.”
When I consider the Bible for answers I am encouraged. I feel like I should be doing some form of penance and I have felt like I don’t deserve to be happy. However, I don’t see where God says that. I see where the repentant sinner is not forsaken and that forgiveness is absolute and complete. Sin is washed away like it never happened. It doesn’t seem fair and it doesn’t make sense to me but there it is. Either His sacrifice was enough to wash away all the sins of the world away or it wasn’t.
Recently I heard someone say, “I might not be the kind of Christian you want me to be.” That spoke to me. It spoke to me because I’ve cried out to God many times, asked for forgiveness, self discipline, strength and relief. I’m working on walking the walk and I still seem to suck at it. In the midst of it I hear that my efforts are insufficient. I’ve given up many times. I hear the accuser’s words in my sleep and when I’m awake. I need new voices in my head.
One thing that is helping me immensely is listening to a 30 minute sermon every morning. That’s a new voice and it’s helping breathe life into me. Praying on the way to work is helpful. Being thankful has been crucial, so is investing in others. Focusing on the people who love me and trying to love them better is high on my priority list. I’m incredibly grateful for those people. I’m grateful for my job, for my health (though suffering) and for the opportunities I’ve been given. I’m grateful for people who have stuck by me, not condoning my failings but loving me anyway. That is so important I want to say it again, not condoning my failings but loving me anyway. Is that even possible? Apparently it is.
God still has a plan for those of us who have failed. Newsflash, we’ve all fallen short, and we’re probably not done. There are scriptures about comparing one sin to the other. Whose is worse? Moses murdered a man and later became a great hero of the faith. Murdered a man. Paul (then Saul) violently persecuted Christians “with great zeal” before encountering Christ. Even after that he said, “For the good that I want to do, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.” Standing right next to Jesus, Peter swung his sword and cut off a man’s ear. He was a fisherman, not a swordsman, I think that’s attempted murder. David is nearly as famous for his adultery as killing Goliath. Abraham, the father of the faith, slept with his maid and made a baby. God was not done with these flawed men and he is not done with any of us.
So, what’s the plan, the path? Confess and repent. Admit it and quit it. The admitting seems easier, in my experience. What if I fail again? Admit it and quit it, same, same. That’s crazy, how many times will I be forgiven? An infinite amount if your heart is in it. Otherwise, Jesus’ work on the cross was insufficient.
I used to wonder what “He is worthy” meant. I thought it was a thing religious people said and it was beyond me. What it means to me today is that He is enough, His sacrifice was enough. Was it enough for 100 of my sins? 200? What about the serious stuff like adultery or murder? What about the 10 Commandments? He is worthy. His blood washes away our sins and the sins of the world. That’s what 1John 2 says.
Taking those Biblical truths and applying them to my life is where the rubber meets the road. I struggle with it and some days it seems I’ve lost the peace He gave me. I don’t know where my personal responsibility and His promise not to give me more than I can bear, converge. I know He’s for me and not against me. He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I’m not sure how often I’ve felt that way. I’m flawed and I have a hard time reconciling those things. My prayer is, “I believe; help my unbelief.”
Today, I’m regularly praying for the healing of those I have hurt. I tell them I love them and I try to show it. Apparently, I’m not great at this. Some respond, some don’t. I am grateful for those that do and I still love those that don’t. I’m trying to walk the walk and be actively grateful for every day, every moment and every person. I lean heavily on 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Thank you Lord.
This past Father’s Day my 18 year old son told me, “I’ve always admired your walk with God.” I immediately felt like a fraud. Admittedly, there are times I walk around spiritually content but when he told me that I thought, “I can’t let him know how distant I feel from God right now.” In hindsight, I think I should have taken him aside and confided in him.
I struggle with being vulnerable like that, thinking I should have it all together. I’m a MAN! King and Priest of my household! Slayer of dragons and protector of women and children! In reality, I’m adrift, maybe a little lost at the moment and not entirely thrilled with the way things are going on a few fronts. Thankfully God’s word is full of examples of spiritual leaders who struggled, yet our Father still loved them, still worked through them and did not abandon them. He leaves the ninety nine to rescue the one and He runs toward the prodigal son as he comes crawling back. That’s true whether I feel like it or not.
When Paul was struggling with something and asked God for relief, God said to him, “My grace is sufficient for you…” Sometimes I think that verse alone has saved my life and kept me sane.
In Romans, Paul says that he doesn’t understand his own struggles, he knows what he should be doing and doesn’t do it and does the things he shouldn’t. Someday I hope I get to bear hug the Apostle Paul and thank him for those words. He goes on to say that there is no condemnation for those in Christ, “For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” I’m not 100% sure about the entire scope of implications that has but, as I sit here askew, it brings me peace.
From the time I was 19 until I was 33 years old I was in the US Navy and surrounded primarily by men. It was no wonder that when I got saved, at about age 30, I sought out Christian men to disciple me. I didn’t know the Christian lingo back then so that really meant, “Help me to understand what just happened and what I am supposed to do now.”
Promise Keepers was in full effect back then and we went to giant conferences, had weekly meetings at church and generally chatted about Christ centered things. I was introduced to concepts like sexual purity, not partying like a rock star and not cussing like a sailor. Yay! I was also introduced to pure, unconditional love, my sins washed white as snow and the unimaginable joy of Heaven. (I choose the latter while admittedly struggling with the former.)
The influence and caring of those men was key to my early Christian walk and I am forever grateful for them. Over the last 23 years and through the course of my intermittently hot, warm and cold walk with Christ the influence of Christian men has been crucial to my survival.
Why can’t I just be an awesome Christian man without other men being all up in my business? Why does isolation from them equate to a walk down a slippery slope? I suspect it’s like Paul said in Romans 7, I want to be pure and holy, “But I see another law at work in my body, warring against the law of my mind and holding me captive to the law of sin that dwells within me.” He goes on to say that Jesus delivers him. Based on the entirety of his comments I take that to mean that Jesus’ work has washed his sins away.
Jesus modeled this fellowship with other men in that while he had many disciples he had 12 that He primarily hung out with and they relied on one another. I’ve previously written, “In Mark 6 Jesus sends out the 12 in pairs of two. In Luke 10 Jesus sends out 72 men in pairs. The apostles often traveled in pairs and we see them relying on one another throughout the New Testament. Moses had Aaron. When David was home alone, not surrounded by other men, he didn’t do so well.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” James tells us, “…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Proverbs is full of advice about Godly friendships including, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” 27:17, “A righteous man is cautious in friendship” 12:26, and “A friend loves at all times…”17:17.”
My answer to this comes in the form of a men’s group formed through Christian Leadership Concepts (CLC). CLC is a nationwide, interdenominational, men’s ministry that, “…challenges men to an uncommon pursuit of Christ. We facilitate small groups of committed believers who refuse to be satisfied with the status quo and desire a deeper relationship with Christ.”
Eleven of us have committed to a 2 year journey to walk out our lives together, to dive into the scriptures and to read and discuss a collection of books we are working through. Between us I think we represent 10 or 11 different churches. We meet weekly from 6-8am on Wednesday mornings and walk through this process. During the week we call each other and participate in group texts offering mutual encouragement, prayer requests and funny things we find online. I’ve personally, and deservedly, been encouraged to refrain from late night group texting, sorry Bryan.
I got this phone call yesterday, “Jimmy my boy! I just landed in New Jersey and wanted to give you a call to see how you’re doing.” I am being prayed for, encouraged and befriended. As I reread that it sounds a little hokey but I don’t care. I’m grateful. One guy sometimes sets his phone alarm to pray for me three times a day! Brothers, this kind of encouragement in your life can be a game changer.
While I strongly recommend the CLC program I have been involved in other men’s groups and I think the important thing is that every Christian man is involved with a group of men. Jesus models it and the examples of this principle run throughout the Bible.
We are in a battle with an enemy who is constantly on the prowl seeking to destroy us. He knows our weaknesses and seeks to cut us from the pack like a lion isolating an injured water buffalo and ruin our lives. While we cannot be snatched from the Lord’s hand many are led away by their own desires. (I recall the vampires I saw in comic books as a child who could only come in if you let them.) We open the door to the enemy through our thoughts, what we look at, what we listen to and who we spend our time with.
Having men in your lives who know our struggles is invaluable. We call it “opening the kimono”, it ain’t pretty and it’s embarrassing. As a matter of fact, right before our group was set to kick off with a fellowship and “opening the kimono” session I called my friend, and the President of CLC, and said, “These guys aren’t ready for what I’ve got to say. I don’t want to become their project they need to fix.” He assured me they could handle it and that my story wasn’t as unique as I might imagine. He was right. We’re men, there’s nothing new.
A couple short months into our weekly meetings we are growing closer, studying, encouraging and forming new friendships. While, on one hand, I’m still a dumpster fire of a Christian man on the other hand I have peace knowing that my righteousness is because of Jesus, I am not condemned and I am being transformed by the power of the gospel, even after being saved for over 20 years.
If your church doesn’t have a men’s group that meets regularly and deals with the real stuff you need one. If you need help joining one or putting one together let me know. It could save your life.
I can’t decide where I land on the funny-to-sad ratio of that bumper sticker.
Imagine if every Christian walked around totally at peace, full of joy and the trademarks of us all were faithfulness and reliability. Would there be more Christians?
It’s easy for us to look outward, “If those people would only act like Christians!” “If that TV evangelist wasn’t always asking for money.” “If only that pastor didn’t sleep with his secretary.” THEN the world would change its opinion about being Christian. Those things may be true but, that ain’t The Plan.
The Plan: Abide in the vine (Jn15:4), be transformed (2Cor3:18), let your light shine (Mt5:16) don’t worry about what others are doing, work on yourself (Lk6:42). Sounds easy, lol.
As we work on the above (a lifetime process) we will start to reflect God’s grace in our lives. As Moses spent time with the Lord his skin actually glowed, as we connect, abide and spend time with the Lord we’ll be transformed and the evidence of that will be the fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22 “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
The Bible alternately likens us to a branch or a tree or a vine; connected to Christ, getting our sustenance from Him and, like a tree, producing fruit in keeping with our source. In Matthew 7 Jesus says that Christian imitators will produce bad fruit and His disciples will produce good fruit. That fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control.
I recently asked myself the question, “Would the people that know me best attribute the fruit of the Spirit to me?” I hate to admit that I regularly fall short on multiple fronts. My 16 year old son probably would not tell you that I am the most patient person he’s ever met. As a matter of fact, I recently wanted to buy a shirt that said, “Can we hurry this up?” I have other issues too, really, I could go on.
This realization effected me to such a degree that I recently sat my family down and apologized to them and let them know that I was working on this. Seriously, what good is my faith if the people that know me the best think I’m an idiot? I picture God saying, “Yeah….he’s not with Me…” or as Jesus put it in Matthew 7, “22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”
I want my life to reflect Jesus to others. My wife and children, who I cannot fool, should see the fruit of the Spirit in me to such a degree that they want what I got. My light should shine to the point that it leads others out of darkness. My life and my countenance should provoke the unsaved to jealously. I’ve got a long way to go but, praise God, I’m not where I started. I encourage you to join this broken vessel as I try to be consistent about my quiet time, allow His strength to be made perfect in my weakness and pray that my life reflects the fruit of the Spirit. C’mon!
Recently I’ve been coming across the theme of God’s wisdom, made available to me day to day. Sign me up! I need all the help I can get!
1 Corinthians 2 talks about “…the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages…” and that we have access to this through the Holy Spirit.
James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God … and it will be given to you.”
The next verse says, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting…” That part sounds important.
Jesus promises guidance from the Holy Spirit, John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, …He will teach you all things…” I’d like to know all things.
2 Corinthians 2:16 says, “…we have the mind of Christ.”
Clearly God has promised us wisdom, guidance and to teach us everything we need to know. Why do we flounder then?
The first thing we need to ask ourselves is, “Am I communicating with God?” Like every other healthy relationship, communication with our Father is a two-way exchange. The occasional foxhole prayer (like Peter’s as he was sinking, “Lord, save me!”) is necessary but if that constitutes our prayer life we’re in trouble.
Jesus is our example and He, “…frequently withdrew to the wilderness to pray.” (Luke 5:16) He was in constant communication with the Father, as we should be. Regularly getting alone with God, making our requests known and listening is real communication and will produce the fruit of His wisdom.
I’ve recently committed to 7 minutes a day for 21 days and I admit to having challenges taking 7 minutes every day. It seems ludicrous as I reread this but I know I’m not alone in this struggle.
As we make a habit of meeting with the Lord we will hear His voice more clearly, the sheep know the shepherd’s voice because they’ve spent time with him. Jesus promises the same thing. As I enter into 2018 I am committing to set regular time aside to pray and listen. I bet if you join me we’ll see a very different 2018.
How ironic is it that as we celebrate the birthday of the Prince of Peace many of us are consumed with stress? Talk about using the Lord’s name in vain. It would be like someone wanting to celebrate your birthday by beating your children. How backwards are we?
There is no getting around the fact that Christmas has morphed into a retail nightmare and that’s not changing anytime soon. However, as Christians, we could insert some sanity into the picture, at least in our own lives.
How can we alleviate holiday stress? Here’s a couple thoughts…
Pray. OMG, has it come to this? Yes, it’s number one for a reason. Philippians 4:6,7 Says that there is inexplicable peace in continually and humbly talking to God, being thankful and asking him for what we want. It may not even make sense but that’s why it’s called peace that “passes all understanding.” That’s a promise from the Bible.
Remember Jesus. It would bring me to tears to see my children stressing out, going into debt and beating each other up at Wal Mart under the guise of celebrating my birthday. As the Lorax speaks for the tress I speak for Jesus on this. If you doubt me, and if you know me at all you should, see Matthew 6:34, Proverbs 22:7, John 13:35 & Luke 12:24-26. If He is the reason for the season we should honor Him as we celebrate His birthday.
Practicing these two things should keep us busy and help peace to at least creep into our households. But, and it’s a big Santa sized butt, we are called to more than taking care of ourselves. We are called to be a light to the world and what better time than Christmas? Here’s one more thought…
Shine. Let the world know that you are at peace and happy to be celebrating Christmas! Provoke the world to envy with your joy! If you’re happy and you know it tell your face! We are celebrating what is arguably the most joyous event in human history. Luke 1:10 “I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” As Christians, the celebration of the birth of Jesus should be one of the year’s highlights.
I’ve been guilty of reeking stress around Christmas but today I choose not to participate. I have too much to be thankful for and Jesus is at the top of that list.
I’m not pretending that financial pressures, expectations, loneliness and depression aren’t real or that they are simply whisped away by Christmas elves. Many of us have known real hardship around the holidays, “In this world you will have troubles…” says Jesus. He’s talking about real troubles, the hard stuff. He goes on to say, “…But be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” He encourages us to lift up our chin, put a smile on our face and walk in His peace. I prefer that.
A couple weeks ago I took my 10 year old daughter to a Tennessee Titans NFL game. I sent my buddy, Tony, a picture and he said, “She thinks you’re just fishing.” His comment was a reference to a country song, “Just Fishin” by Trace Adkins. The song tells the story of a father taking his little girl fishing and, while she thinks they’re just “drownin’ worms and killin’ time” he appreciates that there is more at work, they are strengthening bonds and making memories.
I love my Titans but the time I spent with my little girl that day was bigger than watching Derrick Henry break off a 75 yard run to put the game out of reach. We were strengthening our relationship while sharing the majesty of a Titans win.
My father in law got me addicted to fishing and now that passion runs deep in our family. My teenage son and I often fish together. When we get out there in a stream there are no discussions about household issues, we just enjoy the experience and each other’s company. He thinks we’re just fishin’ but we’re also investing in our relationship.
My Dad and I get along great, but we had some rocky years early on and there may be old scars from that but now-a-days, we go fishin’. We usually don’t talk much as we wade down a small river, reeling in feisty smallmouth or largemouth lunkers. We’re just fishin’ and we are content to be together. I purposely try to appreciate the moments when we’re out there and understand that it’s more than fishing although I doubt my kids have that perspective. I’m sure my Dad does.
I’m thinking that I might be like my kids when I take the time to get into God’s presence, potentially unaware of the significance of what is going on. Maybe when I actually press in and engage God says, “He thinks he’s just praying” or “He thinks he’s just singing” but something much bigger is happening. I’m also being transformed, strengthened and renewed. Spiritual warfare is taking place and things are being overcome spiritually that can only be handled while I’m with Him. Maybe those are the times when I’m most receptive to hearing instruction or encouragement.
While I’m thinking, “I’m just going to church”, I’m actually reassuring my wife that my priorities are in order. I’m showing my children how a husband and father should act so my sons know how to lead and my daughters know what to expect from a Godly man.
As it turns out, there is often more going on than the activity of the moment suggests. I appreciate all the other stuff that’s happening but I am also forever grateful to be “just fishin.”
Encouragement4Men 