Encouragement4Men

I like the word “knucklehead”. It’s not too harsh but conveys a message. Sometimes it seems like I’m surrounded by knuckleheads. However, in those rare moments when I step back and take an objective look at myself I often shake my head and mutter, “Knucklehead”.

The church I go to celebrates “Ugly”. T-shirts, bumper stickers and books proclaim “I’m Ugly”, “My Church is Ugly”, “The Power of Ugly”.  It means, “Like you, I have real issues. I’m not pretending I’m perfect. I don’t have it all together. However, with God’s grace and with His direction, I’m working on it. You can too.”

Knucklehead or Ugly, the story is the same. We are (hopefully) a work in progress. If you don’t think you’re a knucklehead then you’ve probably never been married. A good woman will help you see yourself in a more realistic light (so will a dressing room mirror). Most of us know we could use a little tweeking, to put it mildy, and we periodically make efforts to change. These efforts are worth our time but we need to make sure we put 1^st things 1^st.

If we want the very best out of life there is nothing more important than a personal relationship with our Creator through Jesus Christ. Starting a relationship with God does not require us to change but developing a deeper relationship with God does bring about change. You cannot get to know Him better without realizing the need for some modifications in your life. Change is not a pre-requisite for a meaningful relationship with God but a natural by-product of it. Jack Nicholson once professed to a woman, “You make we want to be a better man.” Amen brother. Drawing close to God will make you want to be a better man and He will help you make it happen.

Here is the good news and bad news; This change, it takes place within you and it is a lifelong process. The other knuckleheads probably won’t change anytime soon. God wants you to be able to love them where they are like He loves you where you are. I thought a better plan might be for God to magically transform me and then work on everyone around me. Maybe not even in that order. Apparently not.

As it turns out, what other people do is not what is important, it’s how I deal with it that matters. Of course this is not revelation knowledge, I’m familiar with the concept. However, learning to take it on board and finding peace, His peace, in every situation can be a tough. It can be easy to justify our behavior when we consider what other people did to make that happen. Something I find myself saying more often is, “I’m not responsible for how they act, I’m responsible for how I act.”

I love the saying, “Sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes He calms the sailor.” Developing a close relationship with God does not mean that He changes the world around you. He will, however, change the world within you if you let Him. A natural by-product of your inner world changing is that the world around you slowly changes.

If the offences committed against you are governing forces in your life, you can be free of that. God does not want those things to rule you. Regardless of the severity of the offence, His peace can set you free. Have questions? Let me know.

A retired cop, a couple homeless guys, a Realtor, a chef, an old outlaw biker, a Florida Cracker, a 21 year old struggling with addiction and an autistic man. These are some of the guys that make up the men’s group at my church. They are God’s elite, a small group of special forces in my life that help keep me grounded and I am constantly learning from every man in our group.

Once a week we meet, drink coffee, read scripture and talk about how it applies to us in our daily lives. We lean on each other, challenge one another, console those in need, pray and provide encouragement. We also each commit to pray for one other guy and make contact through the week.

The first day I walked into the meeting and met some of those guys I thought, “This isn’t for me.” I was looking for a group of men who had it all together, they would immediately recognize my staggering potential, reach out, firmly grasp my hand, fix me with a steely gaze and say, “We’ve been waiting for you.” Instead what I found was a diverse group of normal guys just trying to follow God’s direction & be better men. It was exactly what I needed.

Our Creator has a plan for us and it is a better plan than we have for ourselves. That plan involves developing our relationship with God, leading our families, training our children and helping those around us. That plan also involves other men. We are stronger together and we are made to work together despite our tendency to want to go it alone. Jesus himself formed a small, inner group and the world still resonates with the efforts of those flawed men.

Most men do not make friends easily. In years past I forged friendships in bars around the world and through drunken experiences of which I have vague memories and numerous regrets. Today I am trying to forge friendships with other men who are interested in becoming better fathers, husbands & sons. I still love those guys from back in the day but now I want to build relationships that honor God and produce generational benefits for my family and those around me.

Inside a church near you there is a small group of men who are working through their commitment to a better way of life, a higher calling. They are not perfect, every day they struggle, fail, get back up and move forward. Those men need you and you need them.  If a structured group doesn’t exist you might be able to form one or find a church that has one. There are many resources available to bring focus to such a group. This webpage has several:

http://www.promisekeepers.org/programs/ambassadors/pk-ambassadors-resources

Are you looking for direction, partnership and encouragement? Do you have questions? Let me know.