Archives For November 30, 1999

A retired cop, a couple homeless guys, a Realtor, a chef, an old outlaw biker, a Florida Cracker, a 21 year old struggling with addiction and an autistic man. These are some of the guys that make up the men’s group at my church. They are God’s elite, a small group of special forces in my life that help keep me grounded and I am constantly learning from every man in our group.

Once a week we meet, drink coffee, read scripture and talk about how it applies to us in our daily lives. We lean on each other, challenge one another, console those in need, pray and provide encouragement. We also each commit to pray for one other guy and make contact through the week.

The first day I walked into the meeting and met some of those guys I thought, “This isn’t for me.” I was looking for a group of men who had it all together, they would immediately recognize my staggering potential, reach out, firmly grasp my hand, fix me with a steely gaze and say, “We’ve been waiting for you.” Instead what I found was a diverse group of normal guys just trying to follow God’s direction & be better men. It was exactly what I needed.

Our Creator has a plan for us and it is a better plan than we have for ourselves. That plan involves developing our relationship with God, leading our families, training our children and helping those around us. That plan also involves other men. We are stronger together and we are made to work together despite our tendency to want to go it alone. Jesus himself formed a small, inner group and the world still resonates with the efforts of those flawed men.

Most men do not make friends easily. In years past I forged friendships in bars around the world and through drunken experiences of which I have vague memories and numerous regrets. Today I am trying to forge friendships with other men who are interested in becoming better fathers, husbands & sons. I still love those guys from back in the day but now I want to build relationships that honor God and produce generational benefits for my family and those around me.

Inside a church near you there is a small group of men who are working through their commitment to a better way of life, a higher calling. They are not perfect, every day they struggle, fail, get back up and move forward. Those men need you and you need them.  If a structured group doesn’t exist you might be able to form one or find a church that has one. There are many resources available to bring focus to such a group. This webpage has several:

http://www.promisekeepers.org/programs/ambassadors/pk-ambassadors-resources

Are you looking for direction, partnership and encouragement? Do you have questions? Let me know.

For many years I charged through life without a care. “Be true to yourself” and “Look out for #1” were my guiding principles and Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” could have been my anthem. I was sure the example I was setting for my children would benefit them in the future. “I’m living my life and I am going to ride this thing until the wheels fall off. I encourage you to do the same.”

 

Today, I am 48, a father of 6, (2 marriages) and  trying to focus on being a better man. My priorities have changed and those around me benefit from that. I am still a knucklehead but maybe not quite the knucklehead I once was. I’m not a preacher, a pastor, or a motivational speaker (obviously). I’m a Dad, a husband, a son and a brother who wants something more. I am looking for other men, young and old, who are interested in the same thing. If you want more, even if you don’t even know what that looks like, maybe we can move forward together.

 

Want to hear something radical? Our creator has given us a User’s Manual and it is the Bible. Keep reading. Even without bringing Jesus & salvation into the picture, the principles put forth in the New Testament alone are a reasonable plan to live your life by. The Bible is to be taken as a whole. It would be unfair to the author of any work to pick and choose text and try to hang the theme upon that unless the author said, “It all boils down to this.” Turns out the Bible does say, “It all boils down to this…” Specifically, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Two things:

  1. Love God
  2. Love others 

We are all knuckleheads and hardly deserve the attention of our friends much less that of the Creator. Inexplicably, God desires a relationship with us. He has revealed Himself to you in His creation, in a breathtaking sunset and in the love you feel for your children. If you are opposed to wanting to learn more about who created you and why, I got nothing for you. Stop here and go back to whatever you were doing. I’m not interested arguing. If you have real questions about who God is and you want to learn more, stick around.

 

If you think loving your neighbor as yourself sounds unreasonable then you’re right. It is. I struggle with it all the time. Truthfully, I’m not sure how much I like most people and am pretty comfortable with the fact that that is a two way street. Apart from trying to allow God to work through me, and I’m not entirely sure how that works, I generally gravitate toward people who are similar to me, or more often, I just gravitate to me. I’m not saying it’s a good plan, its just the truth.

 

As I consider the world around me the call to be sold out to God and love others as myself can be a challenge. However, God is calling us to more. Nothing of value is ever easy. Life isn’t easy. What is ever accomplished without someone stepping out of their comfort zone and moving forward? God’s love and salvation are free. We can’t earn it and it is available to anyone who wants it. Just ask and it’s yours. Moving forward and developing a deep relationship with anyone, however, takes time and effort. It isn’t about religion or church. It is about a relationship with God and our relationship with each other. Men, we need God and we need each other. Surprisingly, God needs us. God uses people to accomplish His mission. God has chosen you for a mission that only you can do. You were born in this time and place, surrounded by the people who are around you, for a reason and you know it. God has given you abilities and talents and you can piss them away or use them for their intended purpose. What will it be? Do you feel like there is more to this thing?